New year, new resolutions! With the arrival of new beginnings, I usually find myself making lists. I set up so many goals that I can’t even keep track of all the things I’m going to change in my life. Lose five pounds, start using moisturizer every night, keep up with my classes, find a new love interest…
It’s normal to have goals and expectations for yourself, but is going back to an old flame ever the right way to kick off a new year? Yes, sure, maybe you guys broke up for a small misunderstanding. After all, you remember him being so caring, sweet and attentive. He always called you when you needed him, opened doors for you (rare in this day and age), and sneaked off in restaurants at dessert time to pay off the bill you wanted to split. Once you set your mind up to return to an old boyfriend/girlfriend, there is usually very little that will discourage you to do so. All the bad blood between you seems to miraculously dissipate, and you’re left wondering why you even split up in the first place. In those brief moments, though, you have to remind yourself of all the bad things during your past relationship. If you two broke up, then it must have been building up. Sometimes relationships just lose their fizz or someone ends up hurting the other person. You have to remember the reason why you broke up, and process what might happen if you do indeed get back together again.
From past experience, I have learned that it is never good to go back to an ex. It’s especially a bad idea when said person cheated on you or hurt you in different ways (or vice versa). If it’s already happened before, then what’s keeping it from happening again? I personally am against getting back together with an ex, but of course, to every rule there are exceptions. After taking your precautions and making sure you’re not going too fast rekindling your relationship, try to assess the other person’s personality. Did you two break up for reasons such as long-distance, and now you’ve found yourself in the same area again? Was the person going through personal issues that have been resolved? There are plenty of other scenarios that allow for getting back together with an ex. Make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into before going into the relationship, and make sure your expectations are just.
Whether you’re getting back with an ex or throwing yourself into a new relationship, make sure that the other person is kind, caring, and invested. Those are my three ultimate keys when I meet someone new, and I find that they really help your relationship grow in a healthy way.
So, get off those couches ladies and gentlemen, because new experiences are calling your name! (Forgive the cheese factor in this last sentence!)