Your Friendships Matter

The three BFFs (Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Selena Gomez) posed together earlier this winter in Beverly Hills.

The three BFFs (Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Selena Gomez) posed together earlier this winter in Beverly Hills.

My sophomore year of high school, I made a very good friend. For privacy reasons, let’s call her Sandra. Sandra had been in my grade for a couple of years already, but we were never that good of friends. We had hung out a few times, had our fun, but at the end of the day, we just weren’t that close. Sophomore year, though, everything changed. I’m not sure how it happened, but we became instant BFFs. We saw each other every day; I always headed over to her house after school, and we talked on the phone incessantly.

I had even let go of some other friendships of mine as I got closer to Sandra. People I had known for almost ten years suddenly faded to the background and Sandra became my number one friend. We scheduled outings to the mall and the ice rink, stopped for sushi and fro-yo and basically lived in BFF Honeymoonland for a while. Sandra and I had many things in common. We were both boy-crazy and could gab about guys until ungodly hours of the night. We were both overachievers and vied for the best grades in class. We even had the same shoe size.

As the summer went by, we stayed in close contact. Although we were about 3,000 miles away from each other and were traveling with our families, we still managed to skype, text, and call all the time. We shared summer stories and crushes and were proud of each other’s accomplishments. Soon, though, the school year came along and it was finally time to step it up academically. Junior year was upon us. Being the “nerds” that we were, we enrolled in AP Chemistry and AP Biology, vowing to top class rankings. But as time went by, we found each other competing outrageously. In sports, I’ll be honest, she was way better than me. She ran track and played soccer, volleyball, and basketball. I, on the other hand, stuck to individual sports like horseback riding and tennis. The only exception was volleyball. And Sandra was much better at volleyball than I was, or will ever be, but I was okay with that. Sports weren’t really my forte.

Academically, the competition grew more serious. As the SATs loomed by, Sandra started acting strangely, tearing graded test papers away from me when I refused to share my results, dancing gleefully when she scored better than me, and got red in the face when I did better than her. This wasn’t how friendship was supposed to be. Friendship was about helping each other out, reveling in each other’s achievements, and feeling disappointment and sorrow in more serious situations. I tried time and time again to talk to Sandra, trying to work things out and sharing my feelings. After about three shots with no change on Sandra’s part, I decided to cut strings loose.

I kept away from her, having decided that no relationship was better than unhealthy one. Sandra, on the other hand, didn’t feel the same way. We shared the same group of friends and she took advantage of it by talking behind my back, alienating my closest friends along the way. We hadn’t spoken to each other for about two months when things reached their lowest point. Sandra had sent out a picture of me that she had taken one day over at my house, where I was in my underwear, trying on clothes. I was shocked. As the pictures got passed around, I went to my vice principal, who later called Sandra in. Sandra denied everything and since her mother worked at the school and was close friends with the vice principal, she got off scot-free. When I confronted her after school that same day, she threw herself at me, yelling insults and threats.

We both got a week’s worth of lunch detention and became the talk of the school. Unfortunately, Sandra and I never became good friends again, but that’s not why I’m telling you this story. I’m recounting these events to warn you about friendship’s nature. Friendships are like relationships. They, too, have “honeymoon periods”, rough patches, and break-ups. If they’re not cared for and nurtured, they can get pretty ugly. But most importantly, friendships are to be prized. A good friend comes only every once in a while – and by good friend, I mean the one you can feel totally at ease with… no secrets, no lies, nothing. Just like Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens, (whose friendship we got to see on Inner Circle a week ago!) good friends should rely on each other and be comfortable enough to let their inner weirdos shine.

A good friend is one in a million. So, please, learn from my mistakes and value your friendships. You probably have some similar anecdotes and learned important lessons along the way, so feel free to share your stories by tweeting @feelingthevibe. Any and every of your tweets will be replied by one of our experts! Have any of you friendships become unhealthy? Do you have good friends whom you could not imagine life without? Spill all to @feelingthevibe on Twitter!

Sabrina is our newest teen intern specializing in young dating life and fashion.

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